An Original Story

Randy Ram

From the fields of Hemingway Park to the Premier League — one ram's impossible dream

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Scene 1 - The Overheard Conversation
The Overheard Conversation
Action
Two people stand on the green grass of Hemingway Park, Lake Mead shimmering in the background. In the distance, a large bighorn ram grazes casually — but his ears are perked up, clearly listening. One person leans in: "Did you hear? Hoover Dam is getting a soccer team!"
Narrator
Every great story starts with a moment no one saw coming. On a quiet afternoon in Boulder City, Randy Ram was just doing what rams do... but destiny had other plans.
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Scene 2 - The Sign-Up Sheet
The Sign-Up Sheet
Action
Randy trots over to the park bulletin board. A bright flyer screams: "HOOVER DAM FC — SOCCER TRYOUTS! SIGN UP NOW!" Randy's eyes go wide. His nostrils flare. He looks left. He looks right. Nobody's watching.
Narrator
They said a ram couldn't play soccer. They said it was impossible. Randy Ram had never heard the word "impossible" — mostly because he was a ram. But today, that worked in his favor.
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Scene 3 - Randy Signs Up
Randy Signs Up
Action
Randy rises onto his hind legs, grabs a pencil awkwardly between his hooves, and with total focus signs his name at the bottom of the list: "RANDY RAM." He steps back, admires his work, and trots off with a confidence that should not be possible for a desert bighorn sheep.
Narrator
The handwriting was terrible. The pencil was broken. But the commitment? That was real. Randy Ram was officially in.
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Scene 4 - The Training Montage
The Training Montage
Action
A rapid-fire sequence: Randy sprints past stunned human players. Randy juggles the ball on his horn tips. Randy does headers with his massive curled horns. Randy runs drills at 40 mph while coaches' clipboards fly out of their hands. Human teammates mouths hanging open.
Narrator
Nobody coached Randy Ram. Nobody had to. Turns out four legs, giant horns, and absolutely zero fear of the ball is a pretty solid foundation for the beautiful game.
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Scene 5 - The Epic Goal
The Epic Goal
Action
Playoff game. Final minute. Tied 1-1. Randy receives a cross, launches himself into the air like a heat-seeking missile, and buries a header into the top corner with the full force of his legendary horns. Net explodes. Crowd goes absolutely berserk.
Narrator
In 47 years of competitive soccer, no one had ever scored a goal quite like that. The commentator simply said: "...I don't... I don't know what to say." And for once, neither did anyone else.
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Scene 6 - The Epic Defense
The Epic Defense
Action
The championship game. Opposing striker breaks free on a clean one-on-one. He winds up for the hardest shot of his career. Randy plants both hooves, lowers his massive horns, and BOOM — deflects the ball so hard it lands in the parking lot. The striker is still on the ground. Randy snorts.
Narrator
They called it the "Stop of the Century." Randy called it Tuesday. When you have horns that can break a car door, stopping a soccer ball is just good manners.
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Scene 7 - Draft Day
Draft Day — The Premier League Calls
Action
A massive stage. Bright lights. Randy Ram walks up, holds a Premier League jersey up to the crowd — "RANDY RAM #1" on the back. The crowd loses their minds. Confetti cannons fire. Randy tilts his head back and lets out the most triumphant ram bleat ever heard in an arena. Cut to black.
Narrator
From a park in Boulder City, Nevada... to the biggest stage in world soccer. Randy Ram didn't just make the team. He changed the game forever. Some dreams are too big for humans. You need a ram.
A Randy Ram Original Story  ·  Hemingway Park, Boulder City, NV  ·  Hoover Dam FC